Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea! My name is Matthew K. Garner. The "K" stands for "Kill you if you ask me what the 'K' stands for." But I jest. I'm a cartoonist specializing in my own brand of off-kilter comics just chock fulla' good old fashioned cartoon lunacy mixed with a dash of scifi and touch of fantasy to give 'em that nice "darkly comic social satire" taste that keeps ya' coming back for more. As the kids say, it's outta' sight!

Okay, that tomfoolery aside, whydoncha check out some of my comics already? Have some laughs! Get some kicks! Buy somethin' from the store! I'm beggin' ya! My wife an' I gotta' eat somehow and, contrary to popular belief, the cartoonist biz don't exactly pay the big bucks! You dig?